Day 27 - Come-to-Jesus Moment

"Then Jacob was left alone; and a Man wrestled with him until the breaking of day." Genesis 32:24

On that fateful day when the angel, Kai, confronted me and I fell into blackness, it was the oddest thing. It wasn’t a sterile cold blackness or a death-like place of nothingness like so many atheists like to believe exists.

It was more of a place of waiting. As I’ve already said, scenes from my life passed before my eyes covering my life from young childhood to the day of confrontation. And then?

A pregnant pause.

I felt compelled to examine how I’d spent my life ever since that day I gave my life to Christ at camp.

If you can blush in the darkness, then I know my cheeks were red.

Knowing I’d squandered my opportunity to make a difference for Christ made me feel bad.

Instead I had put every ounce of energy into building my own kingdom.

My own very lonely kingdom involving … me.

Oh, I tried justifying myself. Look at what had been done to me! I didn’t ask to be born! None of this was my fault!

But I knew deep inside I never asked my Lord and Savior even once for His will for my life.

I also knew running from my mom and cutting her off was wrong.

A new thought came to me: my mom was a victim as much as I was. She didn’t ask to have such an abusive father. She didn’t ask to have the father of her baby killed. She did what she had to do to make sure we both survived.

True, she didn’t have to be so hateful about everything; but would I have done differently if I had walked in her shoes?

The longer I mulled over my treatment of mom the worse I felt. After all, I had told her Christ had changed my life; yet when the truth came out, I was stubborn and non-cooperative and ran away.

Let’s just call it what it was:  I was unforgiving.

Christ forgave me and gave me a second chance. I know He expected me to give her a chance as well.

Then, I thought about how I’d acted at college and on the job. No one there would have guessed I was a Christ-follower. I didn’t party – that was true – but I was only focused on myself. I never helped anyone or even went out of my way for someone. Look how many “Miss Amys” had helped me; yet I never gave back to even one of them.

In fact, I even stole an idea and took credit for someone else’s work.

By now, tears were slipping from my eyes, spiritual as well as physical.

“Please God, forgive me!

We are on Day 27 of my serial, Angel on Assignment: The Book of Morgan. Morgan comes to the startling realization her mom was a victim just as much as she was!

If you have missed any of the previous posts, click on the title, "Angel on Assignment" in the upper right hand corner in my side bar. It will take you to a page where you can find all links as they go live.

This serial is not intended to be doctrine. Scripture does tell us angels come to warn, bring messages and sometimes watch over us. It also tells us we could possibly unknowingly entertain an angel. My serial is just me imagining how that might look in our present day and time.

Tomorrow's offering: Sharon's Come-to-Jesus-Moment

This post was written as part of the Write 31 Days challenge. A whole group of writers will be writing for 31 days straight on a variety of topics. Click here to check it out.

~~~

I'm honored you stopped by the Journey today!

I don't want you to miss a post, so why not sign up to subscribe? It's easy-peasy. Just enter your email address in the sidebar right above my profile.

If a post resonates with you, please consider sharing by clicking on the social media buttons at the bottom of this post.

I'm sharing my post at Dance with Jesus.