More About Morgan, #2

Today's portion from The Book of Morgan, Part 2, shows us Sharon decides to let go of the past and build for the future.

(Just now joining us? You can read the last installment here, or go to a landing page here where you can read Part 1 on the series.)

CHAPTER 2 – Heart to Heart

After stuffing ourselves at the diner, we headed back home for that other Sunday ritual that I’d heard about but not gotten into the habit of doing. (No, not attending church. You already know I’d never had that habit - until now!) I’m talking about the sacred Sunday afternoon nap.

When I awoke, I found Mom sitting in Grandma Rose’s rocking chair in the living room, looking out the window with a faraway expression.

“A penny for your thoughts,” I said softly as I sat down on the nearby sofa.

She glanced at me and smiled, “I’d give them to you for free if they were worth sharing.”

A few moments of silence, then she said, “I feel like we have been given a chance for a new relationship, but I’m afraid I’ll mess it up.”

I hesitated a moment and then said softly, “I would like us to be best friends. I’ve never really had a friend except Sister Clara. I’m not all that sure about going about it, but I’m pretty sure we have to be honest with each other and be loyal to another.

Mom laughed, “I’ve been a crab so long, I’m not sure how to be a friend. Lordy, what Jamie must have had to put up with over the years!”

“Let’s start by really getting to know each other,” I suggested. “Ask me anything you want, and I’ll be honest and tell you, and I will do the same. You go first.”

Mom wrinkled up her brow and thought. “Why did you go to Portland?”

“Well… truthfully it was the first school faraway from home that offered me a full ride scholarship. After I learned the truth about what the town thought of our family, I thought it was best to go as far-off as possible.”

Mom said, “Okay, I accept that. Now it’s your turn to ask.”

"Mom, were you really happy living the way we were, holed up at Grandma's and never seeing anyone but Jamie?"

"Not really," she explained, "but it was comfortable because I was used to it."

After a little silence, she mused, "This was never how I expected my life to turn out."

I asked, "Mom, how did you expect your life to be?"

She sat in silence staring ahead. Finally, she turned to me and said in a quivery voice, "I thought I'd be married to your dad, who was a wealthy Southern gentleman - or at least he would have been, if he'd just been allowed to live!

“We would have had a good life, Morgan. You could have had all the things a little girl would want or desire. But best of all, you would have had a dad who wanted you! He was so excited when he knew you were on the way. He kept saying he wanted to be the best dad ever."

“I wanted to give you something I never had. A dad who wanted you.”

Now it was my turn to have tears fall. "I would have loved that for sure. All I ever wanted was to feel important to someone like Grandma Rose made me feel."

At that, Mom dropped her head and cried. "Morgan, I'm so sorry I didn't show how much I valued you. Can I ever make it up to you?"

I leaned over and gave her a side-hug. "I know, Mom, and I forgive you. We have a lifetime of making things right.“

After a little pause, I decided to lighten the atmosphere. “So, Mom, was there any career that you wanted to do before all this happened to you?”

“Well, it might surprise you, but I wanted to be a veterinarian, especially for large animals. Joe Lee and I talked about raising horses. He was into agriculture in a big way. His dream, besides playing college football, was to run the family farm using the latest and newest technology.”

“That would have been awesome,” I smiled, “I could see myself living on a farm as a kid!’

“Gathering eggs and cleaning out stalls?” Mom questioned.

“Well …”

She laughed, then sighed. “Anyway, that was what might have been. I’ve spent too long on dwelling on the past and missing the future right in front of me. You weren’t gone too many weeks before the truth of that crashed in on me! I’m not going to make that same mistake again.”

“Mom, I’m so proud of your attitude! You are so right! It’s time to make plans for the rest of our lives.”

“I’m glad you brought that up. I want to tell you of an opportunity that has come up,” Mom said excitedly.

“You don’t know it since we’ve been apart, but in the last few years I’ve been promoted. Our store was sold to a food market chain; and over the years, it’s been updated and expanded. I’ve moved up from being a cashier. I was first made produce manager. I’ve done pretty well with that; and now there is an opening to be the assistant store manager. I was just told before I went to see you in the hospital that the job is mine if I want it.”

“Mom! That is awesome! Of course, you want it!”

Mom threw up her hand and said, “Now, hold on. There’s a couple things to consider. If I’m going to get into management, there is a cost to pay. Of course, since I live by myself, I can work as many hours as I want. But since we’ve reconnected, I don’t want to miss any time with you. I know you’ll be going back to Portland at the end of the month, I’m supposed to give them an answer next week.”

“Well, Mom …” I started to say, but she interrupted.

“Another cost I will have to pay is going back to school. Since this is a national chain that bought out our store, there is a lot of competition for jobs. I’m going to need to get a degree if I want to advance. It’s been a long time since I hit the books, so it’s going to be rough.”

I smiled, “You know, Jamie told me when you were in high school that you were a bright student. I know you can do it, Mom. You should go for it!”

I hesitated a moment, then took the plunge, “Mom, I’ve been thinking a lot about the future, too. I don’t think I want to go back to Portland. I want to stay here, with you. I mean, if we’re going to be best friends, we have to hang out.”

Tears sparkled in Mom’s eyes. “You mean, you’d give up that fancy high-faluting job to come back to this po-dunk town?”

I said firmly, “I’d give up a fancy job for family any day of the week. Love is more important.”

Now the tears really flowed. Mom said, “Oh, I don’t deserve a daughter like you. Jesus, you’re too good to me!”

~~~

I'm sharing this story at #TellHisStory.