Thursday, February 16, 2017


Again, this morning, I woke up with agonizing feelings of failure, of being not enough. I felt as if I were the most selfish person ever, jealous of my time, and wanting to do only what I want to do.
Let’s be honest – that last item is a life-time struggle for me.

I flipped and flopped awhile on the bed and finally fell back to sleep to this disturbing dream:

A man was in a boat. Behind and on either side of him was open sea but the wind was carrying the boat to the only thing visible on the horizon – a reef that stood as a barrier to land behind it. There was a narrow opening, and a guard house positioned right next to the opening.
As if by its own will, the boat headed right for the guard house. When the hull of the boat scraped the dock by the guard house, the door slung open and there stood one of the meanest, crustiest looking men ever. Standing taller than anyone the man in the boat had ever seen, he snarled and spit out the words, “What are you doin’ here?”
Fear choked the man in the boat so strongly he could not say a word.
Chuckling the guard said, “Oh, another one of you. Thinkin’ you can make it to land. Well, you’re not going to.”
“No one gets by me.”
The guard pulled out his sword and examined it. The light shown on the steel and glinted.
Seriously afraid now, the man in the boat looked around wildly for some way of escape. He reached out to grab the oars and a whip popped and snaked through the air and landed wrapped around his wrist.
Howling with pain, the man was now able to speak, “Why are you doing this, what have I done to you?”
The man laughed. “I hate all humans. It’s as simple as that. But what I love more than anything is seeing them helpless with fear. I have power in this realm and I use it.”
Calmly, the guard walked over to a chest sitting on the dock and took out tools. The man noticed a saw among them.
The guard dropped the tools into the boat and climbed in.
“We are going to take a little ride and when I get through with you, you will wish you’d never been born. You think you are something? Well, I know everything you ever did wrong. You are filthy and vile and have no right to live. You belong in Hades.”
The man shook so hard he could no longer even sit and slumped into a fetal position in the bottom of the boat. Fear greater than he had ever imagined came over him and his last coherent thought before blackness enveloped him was “Jesus, please help me. I’m a goner.”
The boat gently rocked as tiny waves hit the boat. Light began to ping against his eyelids and he slowly opened them to see sunbeams dancing on the ripples of water. He jerked awake and stared wide-eyed at the sight before him.
The guard stood on the side of the boat poised as if he would jump overboard. But now the guard looked different. Gone was the menacing sneer on the stubbly face. His head drooped staring in horror at his legs and feet for now there was no flesh on those appendages. No muscle or sinew just the skeletal remains of his frame.
What in the world?
The man suddenly realized he was sitting up being supported by a man holding him tightly around the shoulders. A man wearing white with kind eyes.
The man in white said, “It’s going to be okay. Trust me.”
Then looking at the guard, he said,
“…I died, and behold I am alive forevermore, and I have the keys of Death and Hades…”
As he spoke those words, more flesh fell from the guard’s body, and teetering crazily on the edge of the boat he fell in the water screaming “Noooooo…..”.
In the silence afterward, the man looked wonderingly into the face of the man in white.
“Jesus, what happened?”
Jesus spoke sadly, “He received what he was going to do to you. His plan was to saw the flesh away from your body. Instead he lost his own flesh.”
Tears filled the eyes of the man in the boat. “But the guard was right, I am filthy and vile. I don’t deserve anything good.”
Jesus tenderly spoke “Those who call on the name of the Lord shall be saved. You are mine now. Go and sin no more, today you are a new man.”

*See Revelation1:17-19 ESV, Romans 10:13, John 8:11 and Ephesians 4:22-24. This post adapted from a dream I had in real life where I was the man in the boat.

I also have to share that in my dream, the man in white looked like Adam Levine!
Seriously, though, I feel like God sent me that dream to say yes, He knows all my shortcomings but because I’m His, He still loves me and will fight the devil for me.
He knows my heart is for Him. I’m believing He is going to help me with my self-centeredness.


I'm sharing at Jennifer's #TellHisStory, Arabah Joy's Grace & Truth and Crystal Twaddell's #FreshMarketFriday communities.


Linda Stoll said...

Jesus continues to speak tenderly to our rattled hearts. He loves us so ...

Leah Adams said...

Wow! That was powerful! It speaks deeply to me about faith and knowing who we are in Christ. One of your best posts, J.