Thursday, December 6, 2012

Confiding in His Love

One of my favorite songs is the hymn, Living By Faith.  I like it better as a solo than a congregational song because it is so hard to get the timing right. 

But, oh!  The words are rich with meaning.

"Trusting, confiding, in His great love."  I don't know why the concept of Him loving me is so hard to grasp.  I guess it is because I know how unworthy of that Love I am.  I always think there ought to be something I can do to deserve it; but I know with my "head knowledge" that no one ever deserves love.

Once I begin to get a tiny glimpse of His love for me, then confidence can start growing in my heart.  Because, surely, if He loves me that much, I can trust that He knows what He is doing in my life?

Velvety Couch with our Cutie!
I'm reminded of a time long ago.  I was in the living room, sitting on my couch - the velvety one with the blue and brown flowers.  I remember turning my face into those flowers and doing the ugly-cry as silently as possible so my babies wouldn't hear me.  I was scared out of my mind.  My hubby was ill.  He was in the throes of dark, clinical depression so deep I didn't know if he'd ever climb out. (This was before he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.)  It was a real struggle for him to function enough to work.  A full paycheck was something that was a real blessing, because most of the time he missed work.  There was no pay for sick days, either.  I knew I had to go back to work but worried that after daycare costs there would be little left.  What to do?

I remember another day when my husband and I went into our room, knelt at the foot of our bed, and prayed over a stack of bills.  We sure didn't know what to do except ask for help.

Many years later, I can tell you that we did not go hungry, the power was never shut off, and our needs were met.  Was it rough?  You betcha!  Did my husband get healed?  No, but  I can truly say God helped us, and that Living by Faith does really work.

I do not know why we were chosen to walk the path of bipolar disorder.  But I do know Who walks with us.

And I know one thing, when you really really believe He loves you and only has your best in mind, you worry much less. (I'm getting there on not worrying at all.)

Here are the words to Living by Faith:  old-fashioned but still true.

  1. I care not today what the morrow may bring,
    If shadow or sunshine or rain,
    The Lord I know ruleth o’er everything,
    And all of my worries are vain.
    • Refrain:
      Living by faith in Jesus above,
      Trusting, confiding in His great love;
      From all harm safe in His sheltering arm,
      I’m living by faith and feel no alarm.
  2. Though tempests may blow and the storm clouds arise,
    Obscuring the brightness of life,
    I’m never alarmed at the overcast skies—
    The Master looks on at the strife.
  3. I know that He safely will carry me through,
    No matter what evils betide;
    Why should I then care though the tempest may blow,
    If Jesus walks close to my side.
  4. Our Lord will return for His loved ones some day,
    Our troubles will then all be o’er;
    The Master so gently will lead us away,
    Beyond that blest heavenly shore.
(written by James Wells, 1918)

Mama’s Losin’ It

This post was written in response to the Writer's Workshop prompt, 5.) Take a line from a song you love and turn it into the title of your next blog post. Let the content follow. If you'd like to join in, visit Kathy at her blog, Mama's Losin' It.


Carol said...

Faith really is the key to making it through our trials. I love hymns. They touch your heart and soul like nothing else can. they speak the words we feel but can't express.

Thanks for visiting.

Emily said...

Very beautiful. My husband is bipolar, so am I except I fear he is losing his battle. I am leaving him for the sake of my son, sanity and safety. I am doing it soon, please pray for my child and I. I'm so glad you commented on my blog, Jerralea!

Karen said...

"Because, surely, if He loves me that much, I can trust that He knows what He is doing in my life?"

Amen to that! Such a great reminder for those times we can't see the light at the end of the tunnel...trusting in the Light!

I love this hymn also...especially the 3rd verse.