Open Mouth; Insert Foot

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I have received a little flak on some of my life stories that I have recently shared.  My sweet mama is worried “so-and-so might read it and get their feelings hurt.” Therefore, I thought it only fitting that I share an embarrassing life story about myself.

When I first started high school, it was just a given that I was not going to be a part of the “popular crowd.”  I attended a fairly large high school, with a big graduating class.  It was easy for me to stay in the background.

However, for a brief period of time, I dated a popular boy!  Yes, I, dorky Jerralea, somehow managed to attract the attention of one of the more sought-after boys!  He was a musician and all the girls loved him.

I was so excited when he asked me out. He picked me up in his cool car, much like the one pictured above. Our first date was to go see a show at the theater, “Jesus Christ, Superstar.”  (Now you know how long ago this was, if the 1970s Triumph didn’t give it away!)

The embarrassing incident didn’t happen on that date.  In fact, I can’t remember how long into our dating relationship it was before I inserted my foot into my mouth.

It wasn’t when we went on a double date with his best friend Robert with his girlfriend to the Kapok Tree – a landmark restaurant in Florida that sadly no longer exists.  The waiter found out it was my birthday and brought me a cake with a sparkler on it.  (A novel idea at the time!)

It wasn’t when we stopped at his parents’ house before going out and his mom pressed me to eat dinner with them.  “No, thank you. I’m really not very hungry,” I replied, just as my stomach growled the loudest growl ever! (Okay, that was pretty embarrassing.)

It was sometime when we were zipping along roads in his car.  (He loved to drive that car!) I was so shy and insecure at that point in my life. It was really a struggle to find something to talk about.  After miles of silence, I had a brain wave.  I could tell him about those two funny kids on my bus!

I don’t remember what wacky thing they did, but I ended the story with, “You know, I just feel sorry for them.  Those are the two ugliest kids I’ve ever seen in my life.”

Brief silence.

Then he asked, “Where did you say those kids got on the bus?”

Turns out they were his sister’s kids!

Now, to give him credit, he didn’t break up with me right then.  It was actually some weeks later. But somehow, I knew it was over, the minute I put my size 71/2 foot in my mouth.

That is why, to this day, I live by the words of the immortal Thumper, from the movie BAMBI:

“IF YOU CAN’T SAY ANYTHING NICE, DON’T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL!”

It’s safer. It really is.

This post was written in response to a prompt from Mama Kat's Writing Workshop.